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Saturday, June 19, 2004
It's Father's Day today, so I'd like to wish all the wonderful fathers out there Happy Father's Day! Yesterday my family and BD went out together for lunch to celebrate Father's Day and I think the lunch was really really yummy..Mmmmmmmm....
My parents are really fantastic people I think, counting BD in on numerous times[should I say more than 95% of the time?] when we go out for lunch and dinner,regardless of whether there was a celebration, or where we were going for that matter. =)Really really nice of them to include him so that I can lunch with my family and see BD at the same time.
I bet that my future sister-in-law [ am I thinking too far here? heeehee] will have a real easy time in future cos my parents are just so...fantastic.And my mom is a real good cook also ;) so my future sis-in-law will definitely have a rollin'good time eating my mom's food in the future!
I guess that mothers--in-law do play a very significant role in determining whether or not a marriage works. Meddling mothers-in-law are often the bane of a husband's married existence. But the tables were turned in a most unusual case in Italy, where a mother-in-law from hell has officially become the cause for a divorce and the wife was the one who filed the papers. On Thursday, the country's highest court upheld a ruling that granted a woman from southern Italy divorce on the grounds of excessive and inappropriate interference of the husband's parents in the private life of the couple.The words of the worn out wife seem to back up her matrimonial migraine. My husband was his mother's slave. He would hang on her every word while she criticized everything about me, my make-up, my diet, the way I was bringing up my daughter," she said in court. In the settlement, the free lady got the preferential treatment. She was awarded custody of her daughter and a generous alimony to compensate her for not being allowed to work after she was married. Meanwhile, the ex-husband returned home to live with his mother. Sounds like the punishment fits the crime.
Man I can't imagine life if my mother-in-law were like that! Meddling in everything that I do. So, I suppose,I'd decline a marriage proposal from a guy I love dearly if it is evident that his mother harbors hostility towards me,or disrepects me for that matter. Mothers-in-law must always remember that respect has to be earned, not commanded. If she does not respect me as an individual human being with rights, then I guess it is only right that such disrespect is reciprocated from her daughter-in-law.
And talking about respect, I think it is a two-way thing. You respect me, I'd respect you. You disrespect me, I'd disrespect you. I believe that this is the same too,even in parent-child relations.Parents should also realise that respect for their child's privacy,ownership of things etc are absolutely necessary. Well I think it is not unreasonable to say that there are many parents out there who don't quite respect their child's ownership of certain items, and thus,either throw them away or give them away without seeking their child's agreement.Like my aunt who apparently gave away some of my cousins' things away w/o their agreement to another cousin of mine. This greatly strained relations between my aunt and her children because they perceived that she loved them less.And this also led to animosity between my two sets of cousins.
I know that my mom is just the opposite. Before discarding any of my things she'd always seek my permission, even if it is just a piece of paper that I have done my rough work on. And yes, that really is sweet of her. I too have this thing that I got some 4months back on V Day. Though it no longer is in good form,for it is already brown,turpid and dusty,sitting on the shelf of my bedside collecting dust, she did not throw it away because she knows how much it measn to me.I really take my hat off her. She just knows me so well
Mutual respect is essential in the maintenance of relationships. There is this Chinese phrase li3 shang4 wang3 lai2. It does have the connotation that respect/formalities is a two-way street.And to the parents out there, I guess that you all should learn to respect their children. Heh and perhaps, "love me, love my dog"?Parents-in-law do play a critical role in determining whether or not a relationship works.Am I right to say that mothers-in-law like the one mentioned is too possessive? I guess that parents just have to learn to let go at the right time. Cling on to us kids, and we'd all drown.
*| 6:26 PM |*
