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Thursday, March 30, 2006
I do not think I am an aggressive person by nature, but I think sometimes I do show quite a bit of displacement of frustration, especially during weeks 10-12 of the term when I **ALWAYS** feel so sussed out by that neverending projects (sometimes even sucky team members).
Inevitably, I sometimes take it out on my beloved boyfriend, only to regret it later because he'd not be very happy too, and sometimes we quarrel.
This time, I think I have become wiser. There was one night when I was working on my Analysis of Financial Statements project, I was particularly pissed with one of my groupmates for the horrible piece of work that she did. Before I spoke to my boyfriend on the phone (he called)I took a deep breath and told myself, "Relax, and don't flare up at him cos it has absolutely nothing to do with him."
I went to the phone, and told him "I am in no mood to talk to you right now, for I am really pissed with my groupmates for screwing up". He said something that really made me feel special, "Can you let me do something before you go? Let me give you a big hug so that you'd feel better." :)
*| 5:23 AM |*
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Thought that this was a pretty interesting case of deindividuation via the Internet. Although I think I mentioned the case in class nothing beats reading the email corresondence.
This is an email that I got about a year ago from one Professor:
Dear students,
Fact of life 1: Most people tend to over-estimate their performance. For example, I think I am an above-average instructor in SMU. However, the truth is that students' evaulations don't support this psychological thinking. So, take my advice: Don't over-estimate and self-create unhappiness.
Fact of life 2: Hard work is a necessary condition to excel. But hard work alone is not sufficient to guarantee excellence. Take my advice: Don't think that you put in efforts and therefore deserve a higher grade. Take a look at the very hard-working workers. I can assure you that there are endless stories told about hardwork but don't get the pay rise or promotion.
Fact of life 3: Despite acrimonious and personal criticisms I received for the mid term and probably end-of-course evaluations, I am generous in giving you marks for class participation, individual persentations and project reports. I am also very generous to give all students two marks for the last question in the final test. So take my advice: Don't spoil my generosity.
Fact of life 4: You have until 30 April 2005 to review your grades. I have taken pain to make sure that the grades are fair, error-free and commensurate with your ability and performance.
Fact of life 5: In finance, the no-free-lunch or no-arbitrage principle applies. If you want a review of your grade, I will also review less generously your class participation, the two marks for the last question, the project reports etc. There is a possibility that review requests may result in lower grades.
Thank you and take care.
Some two months later, all of us, the Professor included, received this email from a person called JR Liew via a yahoo email account:
Dear Professor,Fact of life 1:You are not incorrect to assume that most people over-estimate their performance. In fact, self-evaluations only do not correlate strongly nor reflect fairly on actual performance. Hoewever, such self-serving bias is functional in ego protection. Contrary to your reasoning, overestimating of one self does not create self-unhappiness. Failing to do so does.Fact of life 2: If you work hard just to get a promotion or a pay raise, you are in the wrong job. It is little wonder you fail to achieve despite all your efforts. Lament not what others do for you, but what u do for yourself.Fact of life 3: a) Comments and criticisms are part of life. Rather than be sore about it, channel your energy towards accepting them and changing your attitude and behavior. b) The purpose of a feedback system is so that everyone can be honest in assessment. I am sure the school did not create a feedback system just for students to praise instructors. For your case at least, the feedback system would be grossly under-used if it did.Fact of life 4: I am glad to know that you have taken pain to ensure the fairness of our grades. It is your job. You have proven yourself to be very worthy of the huge pay you pocket every month funded by our exorbitant school fees.Fact of life 5: Finance principles are finance principles. Grade reviews are grade reviews. Just because it is a finance module does not mean u apply finance principles to the grading system. By your reasoning, i would assume that if it were a social work module, the needy can therefore apply for 'grade aids'.Have a great week ahead.
Regards.
Not long after receivign this email, we again received an email from a student called Liew Jiarong (note the initials, JR Liew. They correspond) who was saying that the email was not sent by him. Well, the Internet certainly leads to increased deindividuation.But is it necessarily bad? Not in such cases, for I felt that there was nothing wrong with what the student wrote about the Professor for there was no offensive remark made. [But as to whether who was the one who wrote it remains a big mystery still]. If it were really the case that someone else borrowed his initials, then perhaps that is irresponsible. But then again, that person took care to send that email only in June, long after the results have been sent to the Registrar' s Office so we needn't fear any repercussions [that our grades will be affected by this email that openly opposed the Professor] Deindividuation via the internet allows people to air their views more freely, and I certainly do feel much mroe at ease writing about my innermost thoughts through this blog cos for one, I sometiems am not comfortable with face-to-face communication. But there is the bad side of it too. Think of the date rapes that occur when girls meet in person the guys that they get to know online. Sometiems you hear of some middle-aged man pretending to be some teenaged guy, lure the girls out and then rape them etc.
Deindividuation via the internet is not a bad thing provided the person is responsible enough to not propagate undersirable content, and that the person possess the moral integrity to not use the Internet as a means to do illegal/immoral acts
*| 5:41 AM |*
Despite possessing knowledge about the fundamental attribution error, I still am guilty of committing it.
One of the most recent and vivid events was when you sent out an email regarding the seminar by Dr Diana Robertson, saying that it was something related to neuroscience. I checked out the website and saw the synopsis, which said that it was on corporate social responsibility. My automatic thinking took over, and I was thinking, " Is she out of her mind??How in the world is CSR relevant to Psychology? Sheesh..." [Sorry for having this rather unceremonious thought :)]
But subsequently when I realised that it was a result of some misleading email contents forwarded, I was feeling rather guilty.
What I feel is that sometimes, people pass scathing remarks about others without realising the situation that caused the other person to behave in a certain manner. Then upon realising the situation, it is too late because the damage is already done. Perhaps it's not unreasonable to say that before passing a judgment about others, we should pause and find out more before passing the comment because more often than not passing scathing remarks can be detrimental to relationships.
*| 5:12 AM |*
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
As I was prowling the net for blogs a couple of days back, I chanced upon a blog by that of a Chemistry teacher who's currently teaching in the high school (or JC as we call it here) I graduated from. While reading the entries, well, I could not help but recall the bleak and miserable 2 years I spent there. True, I was from the no.1 JC. But my life there was far from smooth-sailing.
At that time, I was trying very hard for my Chemistry which really fascinated me a lot. It was a subject that I loved. For 2 years, even though I studied very hard for Chemistry I was failing throughout, including the school exam that I had before the A levels. I did my homework religiously, I read my notes thorougly, but to no avail. Initially, my belief was this: If I still failed, then it means that I haven't put in enough effort, so let me work harder and I'd definitely pass the next test. That happened over and over again, until one day, my teacher told me, " You are one conscientious and hardworking student, but I don't understand why you keep failing."
That really got me thinking: If I still fail despite working so hard, that it obviously has got something to do with my intelligence. And yes, there was a short period of time ( if I didn't remember wrongly, it lasted for less than a month or so) I really could not be bothered to do anything. I didn't do my work anymore, and neither was I paying that much attention to the lessons. To me, it didn't make a difference anymore, whether or not I did my work if I was going to get an F eventually for the next time. As mentioned earlier, I snapped out of that after a month or so. I really can't explain what made me snap out of it. Emotionally and physically, I was exhausted. I really felt like snapping. On the other hand, there was something within me that kept me going. I just found that I really could not give it up. So from then on, I was just studying (and still failing along the way) but I simply didn't harbor any hopes of passing (much less acing it).
Well I got my A for it eventually for the A levels. You might be speculating that I'd be very happy that I aced it. On the contrary, I was not happy at all. I felt like an utter idiot, for I was thinking, why is it that I have to take such a long and arduous path to ace it, while the others simply breezed through it? I felt, and still feel, that my effort was totally unjustified. Going by what the dissonance theory (effort justification) says, I am guessing that at that time when I got the results I should have "liked" my grade a lot. But well, on the contrary I somehow didn't/
Well, the 2 years caused a huge dent in my self-esteem, and it was not until not too long ago (about a year or so) that I "recovered" (My freshie grades were pretty sucky since I was stuck with stuff I hated and thought was a sheer waste of time.) But I guess, somehow or rather, that whole experience will leave a sense of bitterness within. It somehow is rather hard to put that feeling and experience down in words, but I guess this is the best that I can do.
*| 5:29 AM |*
Monday, March 27, 2006
From time to time, while I am on the car with my dad, we'd see some other driver doing stupid things, like stepping on the brakes when there is no need to, or not moving off when it's ok to do so. Inevitably, my dad will say "Ah, that must be a woman driver".
And when we drive past, I'd then realise that it's a male driver. And I'd remark, "Hey dad, don't forget that your daugher is a female driver too! And who knows, there could be some other guy out there cursing her when she's driving too! So don't pass such remarks!"
That is such a classic example of gender stereotyping. When people meet bad drivers, they automatically assume that it's a woman behind the wheels. It seems that women are always the bad drivers and the men, the good drivers???
*| 5:44 AM |*
Monday, March 20, 2006
Now, I finally managed to get the momentum to start writing for my Social Psychology journal!
Having learnt about intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation, I really cannot help but think:What is it that exactly motivates me? Am I one who is intrinsically motivated? Or am I one who is motivated by extrinsic, tangible rewards.
From the academic papers that I pored through that time before the test, I realised something very interesting. The definitions that were offered were so clear and distinct that it appeared that it's either you are one who's intrinsically motivated, or one who's extrinsically motivated. It's pretty much like an all-or-none thing. However, is there only black and white? Is there no room for gray? Well, I guess that in a moment everything will become clear. Intrinsically motivated behaviors are those in which there is no apparent reward except with the activity itself.
When I think of this question, "Why are you working so hard for? Why are you trying so hard to achieve a GPA of more than 3.7 each semester?" The answer to this is that I am an aspiring Investment Banker. I want to work for a bulge bracket investment bank ( SmithBarney, Goldman Sachs and the like). Why an investment banker then? Well, call me the material girl then. I drool over cars like the Lamborghini Gallardo, the Mercedes SL 550( upcoming in 2007),
fine jewelry (Tiffany and Co and the likes), nice clothes and fine dining etc. ;) But to me it does not seem so clear..What happens in between the time when I am studying till the time I get all the those stuff? There certainly is no Tiffany and Co ring as a reward when I do well for my exams. I'd still soldier on in the years to come, without all these tangible rewards. So, it might appear that I am intrinsically motivated now, the same conclusion might not be reached if one were to consider my ultimate goal. Therefore, the million dollar question is, can one say that a person is intrinsically motivated when the tangible rewards can probably be obtained a long time later? Every rational human knows that working hard does not necessarily mean that he'd make it big in life. But still he works hard for decades without enjoying the tangible rewards during that period.He might never enjoy them in fact. So where does that put us?
*| 3:08 AM |*
Monday, March 13, 2006
Now this blog will be dedicated to my Social Psychology journal! Finally, after a long while of leaving it out in the cold!!!
*| 5:52 AM |*
